Oh, Capital One. Your incompetence amuses me.

I recently posted about my experience with Capital One after having my account hijacked. Not only can they not tell me how the account was compromised, and what (if anything) has been done to prevent another attack, but upon returning home for the weekend, I find a letter indicating that my account has been suspended.

We have temporarily restricted your account from further charges. Unfortunately, this will prevent you and any other authorized users from using your account. Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience.

The restriction is the result of a return payment being posted to your account. In order for this restriction to be removed you must submit a valid payment(s) in the amount of $1500.00 immediately. The restriction on your account will be removed once we have confirmation that your payment(s) is valid.

We hope to clear this matter up promptly, so you can begin using your account again. You are a valued customer. We look forward to our continued financial relationship.

Stunning. Let me sum up: An attacker gained access to my account, submitted a bogus payment using stored information, and now I must make a valid payment of the amount that the attacker selected (arbitrarily, one assumes). That is brilliant. What I would really like is some indication that Capital One understands what has happened. So far, it seems that they believe one of their deadbeat customers bounced a check.

I feel like a psychologist looking into the eyes of an unresponsive patient, trying to find a glimmer of awareness. Sadly, communicating with Capital One may be as pointless as conversing with an artichoke.